demi lavotos story

Demi Lovato has a secret to share: Growing up wasn't always easy for her.

"I had a really tough time when I was in middle school," the X Factor judge, 20, tells PEOPLE. "People would write 'hate petitions' [about me] and send them around to be signed. They'd have CD-bashing parties of my demos. They'd come to my house, stand across the street and yell things. It was a very emotional time for me, and all I wanted to do was get away."

It was so bad, in fact, that Lovato believes it's part of what led her to seek treatment for issues like an eating disorder and cutting nearly two years ago.

"Back then, there were times I didn't think I'd be able to move on," she admits.

Fortunately, Lovato has made it to the "other side," and is now drawing on those painful experiences as the new ambassador for Secrets "Mean Stinks" campaign, encouraging girls to "gang up for good" to end bullying in schools.

"I heard about the program last year, and thought it was such a great opportunity," Lovato says. "They're really trying to put an end to bullying."

Thursday morning, the star surprised students at New York City's Young Women's Leadership School to talk to them about the program, which asks girls to pledge to have a "Drama Free School Year" by making a pinkie swear, symbolised by wearing blue nail polish on their pinkie fingers.

"I'll definitely be wearing [the nail polish] starting soon," Lovato says. "It's a conversation starter: 'Hey, why is your pinkie blue?' 'This is a pinkie promise that I'm not going to bully people, that me and my friends are ganging up for good.' "

how to deal with bullying

hey guys ! first i wanna say thank you for all the pageviews....:) k so i just wanna say that since my last bullying post, the bullying has gone down a lot and my confidence has gone way up and i love my body  now . so i wanna give you guys some tips on how to survive bullying....so here we go:

step #
1. Know what kind of bully you are dealing with. What does he/she do to others, and how does he react with different situations?

• Aggressive bullies are likely to abuse physically and without hesitation. Try to feel the inner you always think you have your life he/she cannot take that away from you. Believe you will be stronger than him, you are stronger then him.
• Taunting bullies are verbally abusive (calling names, making jokes, teasing, etc.).
• Indirect bullies spread rumors, exclude others, and harass their victims whenever possible. Try to overcome the rumors, tell everyone its not true and the bully just wants attention.
• Cyber bullies harass other kids through instant messaging, e-mail, and any other electronic means. There are more specific ways to deal with online bullies. The best way is to delete them and not read anything they say. Be sure to block the bully as well.

2.Work your way around the bullies. Try and avoid them in school and social situations. If they go somewhere the same way you do, try a different way, if they can't find you, they can't bully you. Don't go anywhere near them,try your best to avoid them but don't show that you are avoiding them. They will usually read this as fear/success, and they will bully you more as a result

3 .Show minimal reaction to bullying. Do not show the bullies that you feel hurt if they do something that makes you uncomfortable; just walk off. Bullies gain satisfaction from making others feel hurt or uncomfortable, so giving them a reaction may only encourage them further. The bully wants attention and if you show them that they are emotionally hurting you, they will get more pleasure out of doing this.

• This tactic may backfire depending on the bully, so read the situation carefully. Some bullies will feel safe tormenting you,(as they enjoy that action itself) if they see that you aren't suffering from their actions.
• You cannot talk sense to an irrational person. Walk away with dignity, saying you have better things to do with your time. If it continues, stand up for yourself. If it continues or does not continue, be sure to stand up for others.

4.Do not make jokes at your own expense to try to prove that there is nothing they can do to hurt your feelings. This will only please them, and they will often chip in with their own ridicule and humiliation to lower your self-esteem

5.Report all bullying to an authority figure. Consider your parents, school guidance counselor, principal, or someone else who can deal with or punish the bully and protect your safety. It's important that you talk to someone about your problem to get it to end. Do not worry about revenge that the bully may take if you report the incident; they will hurt you anyway and appeasing them doesn't solve your problem. You can also go to tell a good friend. A good friend includes them standing up for you and you standing up for them as well at all times.

• If there is a bullying survey in your school always write your name down. Do not be embarrassed. You will probably start to talk to someone who is very experienced and this can be surprisingly helpful. You might feel very small but in reality you are bigger then the bully.

6.Help others. Bullies are people who try to make themselves look good. All they want is attention take that away from them and they have nothing. But you can look better by helping others! Try asking the bully why they pick on people. There is never a good enough answer to this question. If you dont want to ask the bully this force them into being uncomfortable but, make sure your not bullying them.


and finally some:

Tips

• Be aware of your surroundings. Walk with your head up looking forward in the direction you are walking, use your peripheral vision to be aware of the people around you.
• Be assertive and stand your ground.
• Ignore them and walk away- that's your best bet. All they want is attention.
• Walk with a purposeful confidence and a 'don't you dare mess with me attitude.'
• Stay calm at all times, as this will puzzle and frustrate a typical bully at their attempts to elicit a negative reaction.
• Whatever you do, do not actually fight the bully unless you are in serious danger of injury.
• Don't take anything bullies say to heart - they are not worthy of your tears! Do not let their words stop you from achieving your goals! Show confidence, and show to them that their words have no effect on you.
• Remember that bullies can't hurt you. They just want to show that they're 'powerful', even though they show just the opposite: They are cowards. Really powerful people show their power in other ways, not by humiliating others that are 'weaker' than them. Show them that you're not afraid of them.
• Some bullies might just be jealous of you. They only bully you because you have a great talent that they don't have, so be proud of what you are doing. Calling names is not fun. Actually, what's deep inside those bullies is they don't have the guts to do what you do the best.
• Never say anything bad to be defensive. Doing what the bully does for "revenge" means you're just as bad as they are.

 

 

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What is bullying? And who is bullied?

Many children have a good idea of what bullying is because they see it every day! Bullying happens when someone hurts or scares another person on purpose and the person being bullied has a hard time defending themselves. So, everyone needs to get involved to help stop it.

Bullying is wrong! It is behaviour that makes the person being bullied feel afraid or uncomfortable. There are many ways that young people bully each other, even if they don't realize it at the time.



Some of these include:

Punching, shoving and other acts that hurt people physically
 
Spreading bad rumours about people

Keeping certain people out of a group

Teasing people in a mean way

Getting certain people to "gang up" on others

The four most common types of bullying are:

Verbal bullying - name-calling, sarcasm, teasing, spreading rumours, threatening, making negative references to ones culture, ethnicity, race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation, unwanted sexual comments.

Social Bullying - mobbing, scapegoating, excluding others from a group, humiliating others with public gestures or graffiti intended to put others down.

Physical Bullying - hitting, poking, pinching, chasing, shoving, coercing, destroying or stealing belongings, unwanted sexual touching.


Cyber Bullying - using the Internet or text messaging to intimidate, put-down, spread rumours or make fun of someone.

What are the effects of bullying?Bullying makes people upset. It can make children feel lonely, unhappy and frightened. It can make them feel unsafe and think there must be something wrong with them. Children can lose confidence and may not want to go to school anymore. It may even make them sick.

Some people think bullying is just part of growing up and a way for young people to learn to stick up for themselves. But bullying can have long-term physical and psychological consequences. Some of these include:

Withdrawal from family and school activities, wanting to be left alone.

Shyness
Stomachaches
Headaches
Panic Attacks
Not being able to sleep
Sleeping too much
Being exhausted
Nightmares


If bullying isn't stopped, it also hurts the bystanders, as well as the person who bullies others. Bystanders are afraid they could be the next victim. Even if they feel badly for the person being bullied, they avoid getting involved in order to protect themselves or because they aren't sure what to do.

Children who learn they can get away with violence and aggression continue to do so in adulthood. They have a higher chance of getting involved in dating aggression, sexual harassment and criminal behaviour later in life.

Bullying can have an effect on learning
Stress and anxiety caused by bullying and harassment can make it more difficult for kids to learn. It can cause difficulty in concentration and decrease their ability to focus, which affects their ability to remember things they have learnt.
Bullying can lead to more serious concerns
Bullying is painful and humiliating, and kids who are bullied feel embarrassed, battered and shamed. If the pain is not relieved, bullying can even lead to consideration of suicide or violent behaviour

Bullying isn't just physical it can be mental,by the way you speak to one another. some examples are "you have glasses, you cant be here." or"id need 2 buses to run you over" or" i need a ride home , hey fat bus can take me home."

In schools, bullying occurs in all areas. It can occur in nearly any part in or around the school building, though it more often occurs in PE, recess, hallways, bathrooms, on school buses and waiting for buses, classes that require group work and/or after school activities.

 

Bullying in school sometimes consists of a group of students taking advantage of or isolating one student in particular and gaining the loyalty of bystanders who, in some cases, want to avoid becoming the next victim. These bullies taunt and tease their target before physically bullying the target. Targets of bullying in school are often pupils who are considered strange or different by their peers to begin with, making the situation harder for them to deal with.

My experiences:
The first time I've ever got bullied was in grade 4.  I was new to the school and was really, really shy.  Some of the kids would say mean things to me, about the way I looked or the way I dressed, or anything else they thought would hurt me.  I came home everyday feeling horrible and I thought I  was worthless.  I would talk to my Mom about it and she would make me feel better.  She always told me that what the kids said wasn't true.  And she would suggest I talk to my teacher.  I would feel bettter at night, but then the next day it would happen all over again.  My Mom would ask me if I wanted her to talk to my principal for me but I always told her that I didn't want her to and that I would.  But I never did.  I was afraid that it would make things worse. In grade 8 an incident happened on a class trip to Quebec that I finally did get the courage to tell a teacher about and she just laughed it off and told me basically to get over it.  When we got home and I told my Mom abougt it, she went to the school and talked to my principal about it.  And my principal was awesome about it, but it still happened and sometimes it was even worse!  I think what made it worse was that my school was really small so I couldn't avoid the kids that did this to me.  I had friends that stuck by me but none of them really tried to help me  until grade 9 when my friend Emma noticed a group of girls picking on me and she went and told the teacher and it has never been that bad since that day!  Having friends that have the courage to stick by me has been such an awesome thing!  I am so glad that I have friends like Emma who protect me and don't let the bullys get away with it!  I wish more people would be like that, then maybe we could put a stop to bullying altogether.  Because that's the thing, everyone knows you're supposed to tell a teacher or an adult when someone tries to bully you but it's really hard to do it.  And when it's a whole group of kids bullying you, then it's almost impossible (or it was for me at least!) 

Being bullied really changed my life and even though I wish I didn't have to go through it, I'm a stronger person now then I ever was. Because I've been bullied all these years it has taught me to stand up for myself, to cherish the friends I have that helped me and  to believe that I truly am amazing and beautiful no matter what they say.






  .

We are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down, oh, no
So don't you bring me down today

Oh, yeah, don't you bring me down today, yeah
Don't you bring me down ooh... today.

  -Christina Aguilera

 

 

Another tragic event that was in the news

 
Last month, an 11-year-old boy went to his school counsellor in Montebello, California to say that he no longer wanted to live. His classmates had been bullying him, and his mother often hit him while his stepfather held him down...
He wanted to commit suicide because his life was "unbearable" and "I'm tired of people hitting me all the time," a report would later say. The records said h e wanted to either shoot himself or hang from a rope.

A social worker was sent to the boy's home later that day. What the worker didn't know is that the agency had been dealing with the family since the boy was a baby. County workers had previously noted drugs, neglect and violence in the various places the boy had lived.

The social worker also didn't know that the stepfather, who answered the door, had been barred from living in the home due to a history of drug abuse and domestic violence. Communication was so poor within the Department of Children and Family Services that none of this crucial info was relayed before the visit.

The social worker searched for a gun, but never searched for a rope. She asked the boy when his mother last hit him, but he only shrugged his shoulders. She also asked whether he was afraid of his mother, and the boy said no.

But since the worker knew nothing of the boy's family history and asked these questions with mom and step dad nearby, there was no way the boy would answer honestly. He was suicidal and scared shit less, remember?

So the worker deemed the boy's environment safe and left. Later that night, mom made dinner before the family would sit down to watch the NBA Finals. She called her son to dinner. The boy didn't answer.

She began to search the house before finding him in her bedroom closet. He'd hanged himself.

Police arrived to find him unresponsive. He would die at 1 .m. the next morning.

The department says the situation occurred due to poor communication stemming from a lack of funding, unused technology and legal limitations. That's apparently bureaucrat-speak for "incompetence and carelessness."

 

 

 

 Kristen Stewart

Kristen Stewart might be hugely popular nowadays, but she wasn’t quite as beloved in high school—she’s told the press that she got bullied by her peers: “I’m glad I could do those films and I was glad to leave school. I couldn’t relate to kids my own age. They are mean and don’t give you any chance. I was never the type of girl to be walking around talking about acting, so in the beginning I didn’t get hassled, until someone realised. I tried to play it down but I got, ‘Oh, she’s such a bitch.’ Since I was 14, I continued my education via correspondence while concentrating on my career. The day I did the graduation scene in ‘Eclipse,’ I had just finished high school myself the week before.”

Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift was bullied by her classmates in junior high. Many of them she encountered again once she was famous. “They showed up, wearing my T-shirts and asking me to sign their Cd's,” she said. “It was bittersweet, because it made me realize that they didn’t remember being mean to me and that I needed to forget about it too ... Really, if I hadn’t come home from school miserable every day, maybe I wouldn’t have been so motivated to write songs. I should probably thank them!”

Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson got her first record deal at age 13—only her album never came out because the label went under. Her classmates, however, thought she made the whole thing up and she became the school punching bag. “I would walk down the school halls and hear people talking about me. Some of them would throw toilet paper at my house or throw eggs at my door,” she said. “They would also write things on the sidewalk in permanent marker. They really hated me.”
 

Brian McFadden

"I was bullied at school because of my weight and because I used to sing in bands. It started to make me very sharp-I had one-line answers to retaliate. I always had it in the back of my mind that they can say what they want, but I'll always have the last laugh."
 

 

Rhianna

Gorgeous singer Rhianna has revealed that she suffered from discrimination because of her skin colour all throughout her childhood. She told In Style magazine that because her skin was lighter in colour than her classmates in Barbados, she was tormented right up until high school. “Having lighter skin wasn’t a problem in my household, but it was when I went to school - which really confused me at first. The harassment continued to my very last day of elementary school.”